Create your own Erotic Ritual

suitable for solo ritual and rituals with a lover(s)

When it comes to erotic rituals, ultimately the “best” thing you can do is follow the pulse of aliveness and see where desire wants to take you in the moment. However, there are structures that can be put in place that’ll support with giving the energy a direct channel to flow through, and a clear destination to flow into. 

The ritual, and this template that I’m going to give you act as the container- the structure in which your eros can undulate within. Having a structure such as this ensures the potency of the experience is directed into your intention, rather than dispersing in all directions when you get lost in the throes of pleasure ;)

The template caters to solo rituals along with rituals to do with your lover(s) and follows the sequence of:

Dropping in with your intentions and deciding on if you’ll do an alchemical, devotional, or manifestation ritual

As with everything, intention is so so important- it’s the heart of your “why”. So lover, why do you wish to do an erotic ritual? Will you be doing this ritual with yourself? With a lover(s)? And if you are doing it with a lover, do you want to curate it for them as a gift, or will you collaborate in creating it?

In my practice, I like to break rituals down into 3 different “types”

Alchemical- an alchemical erotic ritual focuses on evoking a particular set of energies and embodying them as a means to transmutate something. This could be done to work through a limiting belief, a challenging element in your relationship, OR can simply be done to experience yourself and/or your lovers archetypal erotic expressions on a grander scale. Alchemical rituals are best for times when you’re at a crossroads in life, or when you’re wanting to experience more variety in your eroticism.

Devotional- a devotional erotic ritual focuses on harnessing erotic energy as an offering to.. *insert who/what you want to offer devotion to*. I often do erotic magick as prayer and with the intention that all the pleasure be accepted by the Goddess as an offering of my love/devotion. You can also use this kind of ritual if you wish to worship your lover(s)- treating them as a God/dess and letting the entire ritual be about their pleasure and erotic aliveness through acts of devotion and sensual servitude. Devotional rituals are best for times when you’re wanting to give back- to the earth, your lover(s), Gods you revere, etc. 

Manifestation- a manifestation ritual focuses on magnetizing a desire you have for yourself, the world, and/or your lover(s). Through conjuring erotic energy (life force energy) we’re able to direct it to a certain intention and amplify the fertility of that intention coming to fruition. The building of erotic life force energy is palpable in its ability to attract what you desire, even if that attraction happens in subtle ways of your body becoming more “alive” and aligned to the reality you wish to be in. Manifestation rituals are best for times when you’d like to hone in on certain desires and call them closer to you and/or your lover(s) lived experience.

Creating 3 “plot points” in your ritual to weave some semblance of a story/journey into the experience. This supports the building of erotic spellwork and harnessing the energy in tangible ways.

While this is the enactment of the ritual, I’m adding it here instead of below because having ideas for these points is imperative before dropping into the space of connection, ritual bathing, etc. Once you do those things (which ill describe below), you’ll want to keep following that flow of energy rather than trying to figure out ritual plot points.. trust me ;)

We’ve all seen films, yes? Read stories that provoke hormonal dips and spikes within our nervous systems.. gone on the journey of mythos. Well- there’s a reason these stories and films carry so much intrigue and power in our society… and it involves the scientific makeup of our emotional and energetic bodies. If we’re getting witchy about it.. we can relate these popular media outlets to spellwork. And what is spellwork?

It’s the intentional harnessing, building, climax, and undulation of energy. Of emotions. Of feeling.

See how that can relate to the “plot lines” we’ve consumed our entire lives?

So.. coming back to your intention for the ritual.. how can this be split into 3 main “points” in your ritual? These points will typically live at the beginning, middle, and end of your ritual, and will act as the anchors of the experience. For example..

Beginning point- this is your invocation, the opening of the ceremony. What elementals, Gods, energies, desires, etc. will you include in the ritual? This is the fertile space from which the rest of your ritual will be built upon. And though powerful, typically the energy during this point will be quite neutral. The ritual bath, anointment, and connective sequences can also be grouped in with this point (which I’ll explain more about below)

Middle point- this is the peak of energetic activity during the ritual. Between the beginning and now, you’ll have been building the energy and pleasure in creative ways- and this is the point of climax (either through orgasm or general pleasurable intensity). *note, pleasurable intensity does not always mean fast* This is also the moment where the alchemy, offering, or manifestation is channelled directly back to your intention- which can be done through incantation, visualizing, or another technique that feels good for you and/or your lover(s) to do in the moment.

End point- this is the grounding of energy and integration of the experience. From the middle point to now, you’ll have “re-centering” slowly ebbing away from intensity and coming back to a neutral, albeit magically “charged” state. This can be done by maintaining erotic connection with yourself and/or your lover(s) while subsiding from sexual touch. Think slowwww, deep, intentional breathing while bringing more awareness into the entire body and the space around you. When the energy is feeling neutral again, you can thank any energies you may have invoked, your lover(s), and yourself before saying a prayer and closing the space.

How to grid and set up your space to harness the most energy in your ritual

For an erotic ritual especially, the atmosphere and ambience are important. Set the mood for your intentions to come alive. Set the stage for your plot to unfold ;) What colours can you include that will evoke the emotions of this ritual? Can you drape fabrics, string lights, and/or re-arrange furniture to make your home feel more like a “temple” just for this ritual? Personally, I love creating a “circle” to be in the middle of while doing ritual, placing black obsidian (or other relevant stones) at the points of North, East, South, and West as a protective “container” to have around me and my lover(s) while conducting erotic magick. Another idea is to place symbols of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, at these points to grid the space you’re in with natural magick. Other things like setting an altar, lighting candles, burning incense, etc. are all wonderful ways to harness more sensual energy in your ritual.

The art of erotic ritual bathing and anointment 

Energetic and physical hygiene make these experiences much more enjoyable. If you have a bath, wonderful! If not, showers work too ;) with yourself or lover(s), light some candles in your bathing chamber while playing music that drops you into the energy of the ritual you have planned. If bathing you can add all the lovely things to the bath- flower petals, salts, oils, etc. Relax in here as long as you wish. Luxuriate in exfoliating your skin, lathering natural products into you and/or your lover(s). Let it be a slowww decadent experience of enjoying the healing and sensuous properties of water.

After getting out of the bath/shower, head to your temple space and take your time massaging oil into you and/or your lover’s skin. If you’re with a lover(s), you can either take turns massaging each other or play with rubbing oils into each other at the same time. If you have a special anointment oil, you can use it on yourself and/or lover(s)- blessing each chakra centre with the oil and a prayer of clearing/openness.

Orgasmic breath sequences and mudras for deeper connection with yourself/lover(s) before beginning the ritual

Now that the space is set, your body is cleansed and oiled, hopefully- you’re feeling ready to begin ;) Start by placing a hand on your heart, closing your eyes and dropping within (even if you’re with a lover(s). Begin filling your lower belly with breath- breathing into your genitals. Imagine energy building in this space with every breath. When you feel a strong amount of energy here, squeeze your pc muscle, and on your next exhale, imagine that energy travelling up the back of your spine to the crown of your head, relax the pc muscle as that energy travels down the central channel of the front of your body, landing back into your root, then squeezing the pc muscle, and continuing the sequence. This sequence will build your life force/sexual energy naturally and is a wonderful way to prep the body//mind/energy before orchestrating an erotic ritual. This is also a way to circulate pleasure through the body and can often lead to energetic orgasms if practiced regularly.

If you’re with a lover (more than 2 is a bit complex for this, and perhaps I’ll share different techniques for that another time).. after doing the above sequence for a few minutes, you can assume the position of Yab Yum. The receptive partner will be on top, and while they’re inhaling and squeezing their pc muscle, the penetrative partner will be exhaling and relaxing the pc muscle. As the penetrative partner exhales, they’ll imagine energy flowing from their genitals into the receptive partner’s genitals. Simultaneously, the receptive partner will inhale, squeezing the pc muscle and visualizing the energy flowing from their partner’s genitals into theirs, inhaling and bringing that energy up to their heart, before exhaling, relaxing the pc muscle, and sending that energy from their heart into the penetrative partner’s heart. The penetrative partner then inhales that energy into their heart while squeezing the pc muscle and bringing that energy down into their genitals, where they’ll exhale and continue the sequence. You create a connective orbit with this, linking your life force/sexual energy to theirs for the ritual. 

If you wanna get even more intricate with connecting with yourself and/or your lover(s) you can perform some of these mudras for sexual vitality. Do these close to your body or your lovers.

From this space of connection.. you’re ready to open up your ritual and explore the experience!

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I hope you enjoy this template, and please feel free to reach out with any curiosities about the subject <3